It‘s getting dark out.
I know that on weekends it’s my turn to take the dog out. I don’t mind; he’s a very sweet thing, and doesn’t bother me much.
He let’s me walk aimlessly behind him.
The dog walk is just up the street and across the main road. It’s a route I’d know to follow even if I were asleep. It’s nice to take a walk in the evenings. The winds blow well, and carry a promise of rain on them.
Soon. It will rain soon.
I don’t even have to look to know the furry thing is following my long steps at a trot. I smile to see him lolling his tongue and wagging his little tail.
We wait patiently at the crossing; waiting for the motorists to realise there are pedestrians by the side of the road.
They don’t. We wait.
A small break in the endless river of vehicles, and we quickly cross the street to the dog walk; a narrow raised area by the rail road, interspersed with old trees.
You can see the walk for a long way, and I realise we are the only walking pair at this time. It’s a good thing; I don’t have to worry about a fight or momentary fling between dogs. I can walk my aimless walk.
He knows the drill, so he happily trots off down the walk, me following at an almost snail pace. I hum to myself and watch a train go by noisily.
The wind is making his promises again. I pay little attention to them.
It’s fully dark now, and the lamps are on, throwing pools of light like little suns on the ground. Shadows play in the pools of light.
The grid fence goes on as far as the eye can see, and I reach out to touch a creeper that’s boldly crept up higher than my head. The fence is tall and wide and it makes me think of a really large cage.
I know the fence ends somewhere in the distance and is then replaced by concrete fences we know as walls and buildings. So it is a cage; we only don’t see it.
We have drawn such big cages and walls that we forget we are in them, and go on as if we were free.
None of us are free.
It’s only that grand illusion we have for ourselves. With our comfortable houses and uncomfortable jobs; the long hours; the unending spending.
We are all in cages, some just bigger than others and some just more comfortable. The luxury we buy for the lives we have turned into cages is just a rationalisation; just something we do to make it seem all better.
The fences we build around our houses and in turn around our families and then around our hearts and lives is a self inflicted imprisonment.
Are the fences to keep people in, or keep people out? Both, I think.
I look beyond the fence in front of my eyes, beyond the railroad trench, and to the other side. More houses, more walls, more people looking beyond the fence and the railroad trench; looking at me looking at them.
Are they farther from the inside or am I closer to the outside? Hard to answer when I don’t know whether I’m inside or outside. Confusing, I know.
Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
Here I am, standing in a pool of shadows, looking to a place I’ve been to , and yet unsure what I am looking at.
Confusing, I know.
I stand, and my dog sits by my feet, and both of us stare a little while longer. We have nothing to lose but time.
When we walk back, we walk back to another cage I think, or maybe the only place we can be known, and missed.
We walk back.
