There she goes

There is an inexplicable sadness in her eyes
And a depth to her heart, she herself denies
Does she know that she is not alone?
In this path that she has chosen so clearly
Does she know you'll humor her,
And manage to say what would entertain a few?
She walks along a clear path to oblivion
Hiding in the shadows of her fears and tears
Hoping that the sun will not find her
She fears those demons who haunt her at day
And let her be in the dark, only she can see
She holds hands with a man she created inside
Her mind, for he smiles for her only
He cries no tears and dries hers with kisses
For she was alone far too long.
No one heard her heart break and tear away
All that she held so close to it
But they saw her smile, and walked on by
Even though the shadows under her eyes
Darkened and the light in her eyes dimmed.
Is she not worth a second glance?
Or has everyone forgotten how to look and really see?
Whatever the reason, it is too late
As she walks away, holding the hand of a man
Who has never known of existance, or of life.

Sreedevi.

In the Rain

Cool trails on my forehead , my neck
Trailing down, leaving a burn in their wake
Open eyes, staring out into the distance
As if time were of the consequence
As if the rising sun would never dawn
A deep breath and the feeling returns
A crystal that would shatter on touch
Rests in the line of vision of the eye
The world seen as a blur, but magnified
Somehow seems so much more purified
Till a blink and the miracle is gone
Replaced with the cold truth, cold draught
Swirls around and leaves in it's wake
A moment lost, a feeling returned
A trip back into the reality of this world.

Sreedevi.

Full Circle

It take very little for me to slip into my “Think too much” state of mind. And when I do, it can do no good for the ones around me. In the place I lived before, the ones I shared the apartment with usually steered clear of me. Why? Simple. They thought I was intimidating, and plain scary. Suited me fine, but after a while, you have to stop discussing things with yourself, for fear of slipping into an irrevocable insanity.

I decided that this mission of mine would be solitary. So I took that glass of beverage, something that was harsh on my throat, but easy on my mind, and stood in the kitchen, mulling things over. Unfortunately, my tongue sometimes refuses to listen to my logic and has to take control. The next unsuspecting victim, came for dinner but was forced to stay for drynesses. I would not know what caused the tentative “Is everything alright?” from her; whether it was the impossibility of ignoring another person standing almost trance-like in the same room, or plain concern at my almost stone-like expression, I'll never know. It certainly sparked off the half hour tirade of mine, well, not tirade exactly, more of low rambling. With that poor girl at the wrong end of the proverbial stick.

It basically revolved on my observation on how everything, and I mean everything, is basically some distorted version of a full circle. Nothing is just a straight line. In fact, by geometric definition, a straight line can be considered a part of the circumference of a circle of infinite radius. What I mean to say is that: think about it. Everything in the world of humankind is dependent on some other object, creating a nightmare of inter-dependencies. Devil's Snare. And we are stuck within it. No matter what we do, we somehow end up following some convention, some rule, some damn yellow brick road that never ends, all the time thinking we will reach the magical land of Oz.

We create rules, we created society, and then we allow our creations to govern us. It is only less gruesome than what happens if AI breaks it's controllers. Somehow it brings to mind the proud smiles of parents while looking over their new born. So many dreams in those smiles. So much of hope to control their lives. The start planning from even before conception. Planning to follow society's self indulgence. Whatever for?

About thirty minutes into the more or less one-sided conversation, I managed to snap out of it and the girl all but left skid marks. Honestly! I should re-consider insanity.