Hanging by a Titanium thread

It was said in the movie that Superman's hair, a single thread of it, could hold a ten-ton weight indefinitely. Great, isn't it? I really wonder how anything so frail can be so strong. Well wonder no more. You have the power within you. No, This is not a bloody pep talk before any non-existent game. Seriously.

What the hell am I talking about? I'm talking about the heart and the soul, so frail, yet so strong we assume it to be, and unknowingly tie to them all the burdens that we can ever imagine of. They carry all that we fear to let go of throughout our lives, and believe me, you'd be surprised as to how much weight that turns out to be.

Are we, frail as we are, so presumptuous that we can handle all that burden? Are we, try as we might, so afraid to let go?

I think that in 90% of the cases, the answer is "yes." We are afraid to let go, no matter how passionately anyone argues against it. A few of us can let go of a few of the things some of the time, but not anything that makes the ten-ton weight disappear. I think people fear that if they let go of things, they will no longer have something to blame and therefore will have to accept responsibility for their actions. Now that is simply unacceptable. Isn't everything a part of the "blame game?"

The thing that made me think of this was seeing people, myself included, kid themselves over and over again with the same thing. The most common being the illness of the heartbroken. Now that is a classic. "Maybe if I hope a lot and wish on the falling stars, he/she will come back and things will be perfect." What a load of goat dung. Thankfully I am not like Severus, with a doe patronus. I have long ago learned that letting go is useless in some issues, but best in others. Especially in the affairs of the heart. Well fortunately I have had no more heartbreaks than the usual schoolgirl-celebrity crushes, but I really pity those people out there who suffer this insufferable illness of holding on, even when nothing can come of it.

The heart, in this case is overburdened. Taking on more and more burden with every passing thing. Even though we think we have forgotten, we still are not ready to let go. I do not know how to let go. I don' t think I am ready for it. And I wonder how many people are willing to accept that one weakness? Well, if you ask me, it is hardly a weakness, but my friends disagree. They think that by letting go, it is to forgive, be it yourself, or others, and that makes you a better person. Well I hate hot dishes and I think revenge is something that suits that condition just fine. Not that I'd go taking revenge on everyone I don't like, screaming "revenga!" but a person can dream, can't I?

No people, I'm not mentally imbalanced, I'm as sane as the next guy.

I have asked myself, "Why am I holding on to all those little things that I know are done, that cannot be reversed, and that is absolutely no use to me?" and I draw a blank, every single time. I try to reason out, as I do with all issues, to find a good solid reason to keep holding on, as the eloquent modern day poets say (feel free to use paper napkins to wipe off the dripping sarcasm), especially Avril Lavange or whatever the hell the name is, in her song. Well, I find the music good, just that I don't pay attention to the lyrics in most songs, therefore tripling my tolerance for modern songs. Let's not digress. I guess it is because those little things define a lot of my life. They are pieces of me, and I am afraid that if I let go, I lose myself. Not a pleasant thought. Maybe I'll leave that ten-ton weight exactly where it is now.

So go on, sit in that dark corner and think about what you have done. Are we fair in punishing ourselves for our own mistakes even after the message has sunk in? Or has it?