Full Circle

It take very little for me to slip into my “Think too much” state of mind. And when I do, it can do no good for the ones around me. In the place I lived before, the ones I shared the apartment with usually steered clear of me. Why? Simple. They thought I was intimidating, and plain scary. Suited me fine, but after a while, you have to stop discussing things with yourself, for fear of slipping into an irrevocable insanity.

I decided that this mission of mine would be solitary. So I took that glass of beverage, something that was harsh on my throat, but easy on my mind, and stood in the kitchen, mulling things over. Unfortunately, my tongue sometimes refuses to listen to my logic and has to take control. The next unsuspecting victim, came for dinner but was forced to stay for drynesses. I would not know what caused the tentative “Is everything alright?” from her; whether it was the impossibility of ignoring another person standing almost trance-like in the same room, or plain concern at my almost stone-like expression, I'll never know. It certainly sparked off the half hour tirade of mine, well, not tirade exactly, more of low rambling. With that poor girl at the wrong end of the proverbial stick.

It basically revolved on my observation on how everything, and I mean everything, is basically some distorted version of a full circle. Nothing is just a straight line. In fact, by geometric definition, a straight line can be considered a part of the circumference of a circle of infinite radius. What I mean to say is that: think about it. Everything in the world of humankind is dependent on some other object, creating a nightmare of inter-dependencies. Devil's Snare. And we are stuck within it. No matter what we do, we somehow end up following some convention, some rule, some damn yellow brick road that never ends, all the time thinking we will reach the magical land of Oz.

We create rules, we created society, and then we allow our creations to govern us. It is only less gruesome than what happens if AI breaks it's controllers. Somehow it brings to mind the proud smiles of parents while looking over their new born. So many dreams in those smiles. So much of hope to control their lives. The start planning from even before conception. Planning to follow society's self indulgence. Whatever for?

About thirty minutes into the more or less one-sided conversation, I managed to snap out of it and the girl all but left skid marks. Honestly! I should re-consider insanity.